Pleased

 

A section of my living room wall. 

I made the yarn macrame.

 It took me longer to find the perfect stick than it did to make the entire thing.

The telephone pole silhouette picture I found at thrift store. Yay! Lucky me!

I made and added in the birds to tie the two pieces together.

I feel it gives the space some depth and movement.

It makes me happy.

 

 

I am

I was the fifth little piggy.

Forty miles through wet, blurry lenses and overcast skies.

The sun peeked out, my heart followed.

Please don't be sad, you ARE ok.

Everything IS ok.

I am light, I am love,

I am loved.

 

Three Things

I'm pressed for time, therefore, I share with you three photos from my life.

Oh! How I miss my mini moley! 

I attempted the challenge twice. 

Twice, I did not complete the entire year. 

Now, whenever I feel like being a "little" creative, I do so in my lil art book. 

My dinner.

Goulash & cornbread.

Jar of honey compliments of my friend and her bees. 

I ❤ Bees.

Tissue box.

There was a similar one in a catalog for $20.

I made my own for way less! 

I'm pleased with the way it turned out.

 

 

Life Can Be Messy

 

Life IS beautiful, yet, it can feel pretty messy at times. These past few days I have been in a bad headspace. Like The Exorcist, spewing split pea soup every time I opened my mouth. 

This type of behavior does not make me proud. It literally enrages me that I, still to this day, give up my power to things and people in which I have no control over. I am a thermostat damn it! I set the temperature of my mood! Least, I know better, or thought I did. 

It's that whole midlife bull piss. An empty nest, I've never fully mourned. Ok, well, I mourn it often and my baby is 31! Never fully accepted. Grandchildren I cared for often helped alleviate the pain of the emptiness. Covid and then relocation five months ago that moved me over an hour away from them has left my nest cold and lonely once again.

Yep! I am married, twenty years in May. Twenty years of putting my marriage on the back burner behind my kids, grandkids and Mom. Twenty years he has put his career ahead of all. 

How can someone feel like a stranger in your life, to your heart when you've slept beside him for approximately the last 7,300 nights?

So, yeah, it's all that and more. 

I have no vices to numb my feelings or cloud my mind. I'm a highly sensitive person, emotionally passionate with a tape worm of thoughts. 

It all feels never-ending.

I lose my shit.

It's scary as a 5'2, 125 lb tornado. 

That made me laugh...

But, hey, I'm back, and I share with you my pineapple top! Yay! I remembered it! 

I'll update it's progress and perhaps my own as it grows or withers away.

 

Vampires, Hermits & Gnomes

 

Cute huh? My husband bought him for me when we bought our new house.  Technically, she (our home) is not new other than to us. She was built in 1916. Anyway, she can have a blog of her own some day. For now, let me tell you about that lil guy up there.

He adorned our back door step, keeping watch as visitors came and went until I deemed him of better use inside. Between our laundry/mud room and our kitchen we have a very old, heavy wood swinging door. For reason I don't feel like writing about, we want it propped open. 

Ok, fine, the dogs don't "get it" and apparently,  neither do I.  Whenever we have had it closed, instead of just pushing through it, for some unearthly reason unknown to common sense, I've attempted, on more than one occasion to squeeze my fingers into the crack and pull it open towards me. Insert stupid look here. Well...obviously, I have the speed of a sloth and have pinched my fingers in the crack during the massive doors' swing back. It smarts, the opposite of how I feel.  So, yeah, we feel it's best to just keep it open. 

I had tried everything to keep that dang thing in place. Door wedges, buckets of rocks,  nothing was heavy enough.  Mr Gnome is. His girth is concrete. That door don't budge now. 

What about the vampires and hermits? Long story short, some of my co-workers suck the energy right out of me. I have to remember to bring my deflector bubble to work. If I were a hermit, problem solved. 

I'll leave you with this adorable tree frog I spotted on one of the benches today. Awww.....

Monday Thru Friday

I rise before the sun, 4 am. 

Sometimes I hit snooze. I regret it every time. I don't like feeling rushed outta the gate. 

I go out to the porch, smoke, and as of late, been reading blogs.

I get ready for the day,  pack my snacks. ( I prefer snacks every couple hours than 3 heavy meals a day.)

I let our two dogs, Gunner, a tree walker coonhound and Beans, a terrier, beagle mix outside to do their biz.

I'm on the road by 5:10 am to travel the 1.25 hours to work in the city.

6:45am-3:15 I'm working hard for the money, so hard for it honey ...

Typically after work I stop by my Mom's, daughter's or the store.

1.25 hours on the road again...the radio in my truck bit it. I'm ok with it though as I have been listening to audio books. Just finished David Bach's Automatic Millionaire. Because you know, I really can just wait to get back on the road again.

My arrival at home is 5:15-6 pm.

After a very warm "Welcome home! We missed you Mama!" From the fur kids, and tre's kisses from hubby, its onto making dinner.

As I fix dinner, my husband and I talk about our day(s), any pressing matters or family stuff. 

We eat, then clean up the kitchen together,  he does dishes and I clean the counters, table and stove.

Time for a few chores. Tonight I did 3 loads of laundry, scoured the kitchen sink and swept the floors.

7:30ish, my day winds down. Beans wants to play. I want to blog, shower and go to bed.

I toss the ball around a bit, his tail lets me know he's pleased. 

Nestled now beside me as I blog from my phone, he is content. I am not. But I will be as a millionaire some day. Until then, I must shower and hit the hay.

My nightly goal is 9pm. 

Not as Sweet

 

A bit of sadness crept in today as I was reminiscing over this past year.  I'm not in the mood to write about covid's injustice or to write some poetic verbage on the scores of lives lost or forever changed and the oh so many, too many ways to count that it SUCKS!

My thoughts were selfish and small compared to the bigger picture of the world. But, in my world, the little things are HUGE! I live for the small, ordinaries of life. They keep me humble, they keep me grounded, they keep me sane. A deep sense of gratitude embodies the day to day that had been, to some degree taken for granted pre-pandemic.

Cakes  and cookies, cookies and cakes! 

I am the family baker. I wear my toque proudly. I must insert here, I have never owned nor have I ever worn a toque (baker's hat). I don't even own an apron. It's  safe to say between crafting and baking, my "style" of clothing is the stained look. 

My families body count of sisters, their families and their families family, we are at fifty plus!

Holidays, birthdays, weddings, baby showers, graduations, anything to celebrate, I've baked for them all. 

Truly, the way to anyone's heart is their stomach. It gives me such joy to know my baking has held an important role in the lives of those I love. 

But, as I sat, lost in memory, in that moment, the taste was not so sweet.