Pleased

 

A section of my living room wall. 

I made the yarn macrame.

 It took me longer to find the perfect stick than it did to make the entire thing.

The telephone pole silhouette picture I found at thrift store. Yay! Lucky me!

I made and added in the birds to tie the two pieces together.

I feel it gives the space some depth and movement.

It makes me happy.

 

 

I am

I was the fifth little piggy.

Forty miles through wet, blurry lenses and overcast skies.

The sun peeked out, my heart followed.

Please don't be sad, you ARE ok.

Everything IS ok.

I am light, I am love,

I am loved.

 

Three Things

I'm pressed for time, therefore, I share with you three photos from my life.

Oh! How I miss my mini moley! 

I attempted the challenge twice. 

Twice, I did not complete the entire year. 

Now, whenever I feel like being a "little" creative, I do so in my lil art book. 

My dinner.

Goulash & cornbread.

Jar of honey compliments of my friend and her bees. 

I ❤ Bees.

Tissue box.

There was a similar one in a catalog for $20.

I made my own for way less! 

I'm pleased with the way it turned out.

 

 

Life Can Be Messy

 

Life IS beautiful, yet, it can feel pretty messy at times. These past few days I have been in a bad headspace. Like The Exorcist, spewing split pea soup every time I opened my mouth. 

This type of behavior does not make me proud. It literally enrages me that I, still to this day, give up my power to things and people in which I have no control over. I am a thermostat damn it! I set the temperature of my mood! Least, I know better, or thought I did. 

It's that whole midlife bull piss. An empty nest, I've never fully mourned. Ok, well, I mourn it often and my baby is 31! Never fully accepted. Grandchildren I cared for often helped alleviate the pain of the emptiness. Covid and then relocation five months ago that moved me over an hour away from them has left my nest cold and lonely once again.

Yep! I am married, twenty years in May. Twenty years of putting my marriage on the back burner behind my kids, grandkids and Mom. Twenty years he has put his career ahead of all. 

How can someone feel like a stranger in your life, to your heart when you've slept beside him for approximately the last 7,300 nights?

So, yeah, it's all that and more. 

I have no vices to numb my feelings or cloud my mind. I'm a highly sensitive person, emotionally passionate with a tape worm of thoughts. 

It all feels never-ending.

I lose my shit.

It's scary as a 5'2, 125 lb tornado. 

That made me laugh...

But, hey, I'm back, and I share with you my pineapple top! Yay! I remembered it! 

I'll update it's progress and perhaps my own as it grows or withers away.

 

Vampires, Hermits & Gnomes

 

Cute huh? My husband bought him for me when we bought our new house.  Technically, she (our home) is not new other than to us. She was built in 1916. Anyway, she can have a blog of her own some day. For now, let me tell you about that lil guy up there.

He adorned our back door step, keeping watch as visitors came and went until I deemed him of better use inside. Between our laundry/mud room and our kitchen we have a very old, heavy wood swinging door. For reason I don't feel like writing about, we want it propped open. 

Ok, fine, the dogs don't "get it" and apparently,  neither do I.  Whenever we have had it closed, instead of just pushing through it, for some unearthly reason unknown to common sense, I've attempted, on more than one occasion to squeeze my fingers into the crack and pull it open towards me. Insert stupid look here. Well...obviously, I have the speed of a sloth and have pinched my fingers in the crack during the massive doors' swing back. It smarts, the opposite of how I feel.  So, yeah, we feel it's best to just keep it open. 

I had tried everything to keep that dang thing in place. Door wedges, buckets of rocks,  nothing was heavy enough.  Mr Gnome is. His girth is concrete. That door don't budge now. 

What about the vampires and hermits? Long story short, some of my co-workers suck the energy right out of me. I have to remember to bring my deflector bubble to work. If I were a hermit, problem solved. 

I'll leave you with this adorable tree frog I spotted on one of the benches today. Awww.....

Monday Thru Friday

I rise before the sun, 4 am. 

Sometimes I hit snooze. I regret it every time. I don't like feeling rushed outta the gate. 

I go out to the porch, smoke, and as of late, been reading blogs.

I get ready for the day,  pack my snacks. ( I prefer snacks every couple hours than 3 heavy meals a day.)

I let our two dogs, Gunner, a tree walker coonhound and Beans, a terrier, beagle mix outside to do their biz.

I'm on the road by 5:10 am to travel the 1.25 hours to work in the city.

6:45am-3:15 I'm working hard for the money, so hard for it honey ...

Typically after work I stop by my Mom's, daughter's or the store.

1.25 hours on the road again...the radio in my truck bit it. I'm ok with it though as I have been listening to audio books. Just finished David Bach's Automatic Millionaire. Because you know, I really can just wait to get back on the road again.

My arrival at home is 5:15-6 pm.

After a very warm "Welcome home! We missed you Mama!" From the fur kids, and tre's kisses from hubby, its onto making dinner.

As I fix dinner, my husband and I talk about our day(s), any pressing matters or family stuff. 

We eat, then clean up the kitchen together,  he does dishes and I clean the counters, table and stove.

Time for a few chores. Tonight I did 3 loads of laundry, scoured the kitchen sink and swept the floors.

7:30ish, my day winds down. Beans wants to play. I want to blog, shower and go to bed.

I toss the ball around a bit, his tail lets me know he's pleased. 

Nestled now beside me as I blog from my phone, he is content. I am not. But I will be as a millionaire some day. Until then, I must shower and hit the hay.

My nightly goal is 9pm. 

Not as Sweet

 

A bit of sadness crept in today as I was reminiscing over this past year.  I'm not in the mood to write about covid's injustice or to write some poetic verbage on the scores of lives lost or forever changed and the oh so many, too many ways to count that it SUCKS!

My thoughts were selfish and small compared to the bigger picture of the world. But, in my world, the little things are HUGE! I live for the small, ordinaries of life. They keep me humble, they keep me grounded, they keep me sane. A deep sense of gratitude embodies the day to day that had been, to some degree taken for granted pre-pandemic.

Cakes  and cookies, cookies and cakes! 

I am the family baker. I wear my toque proudly. I must insert here, I have never owned nor have I ever worn a toque (baker's hat). I don't even own an apron. It's  safe to say between crafting and baking, my "style" of clothing is the stained look. 

My families body count of sisters, their families and their families family, we are at fifty plus!

Holidays, birthdays, weddings, baby showers, graduations, anything to celebrate, I've baked for them all. 

Truly, the way to anyone's heart is their stomach. It gives me such joy to know my baking has held an important role in the lives of those I love. 

But, as I sat, lost in memory, in that moment, the taste was not so sweet.

 

Just For Fun

 

Today I feel beat.  My mindset at work was not a gratuitous one. I did not stop a smell anything, let alone the flowers. I did not stop. It was all work, some hard, I even got a blister which made me angry. It hurt, and when it popped and the skin wore off, it hurt more. Try hand sanitizing an open wound! Holy buckets! I wanted to scream, cry and go home. 

I trudged and sulked my way through the day. None of my "tricks" or attempts to self talk my way into a better feeling worked, only I did. For today, I am tired of working. The greenhouse was so warm, I felt sick. We put the spring flowers out to acclimate them to the weather and its changes, I have not been given the time to acclimate to all the changes occurring in my life, especially not the weather. I'm a 65° & cloudy kinda gal, comfy in a hoodie and jeans.

My drive home was torture as I contemplated my place in this world. My means of financial support, my job pays a good wage, I am middle age with no schooling beyond my GED. So landing this position, working for the city has been fortunate. 

It doesn't pay a fortune, do I want a fortune? I love what I do, until I don't. My tired bones say give me a rest, my mind says become stronger and the physical work will come easier. My body sighs...

I'm home, the start of my "gallery" wall, could this ever support me? Nah, it's just for fun.

Five Photo's Blogging

One hundred million chickens laying eggs for the Easter bunny to hide. 

The title and that first line should be sang to the tune of 12 days of Christmas.  

Today I decided to blurb about five random photos from my cell phone. 

This is the Eggmazing Egg Decorator. It lives up to it's name, it is pretty eggmazing and is such a fun and creative way to decorate eggs.  I follow Kristen Hampton Good News on Facebook. She does a Product Testing Tuesday, one in which she had tested the validity of the claim, "eggmazing".  She had a hilariously good time with it. I just had to get one for my grandkids, who, themselves really enjoyed the eggcellent "spin" this company put on "spin" art. My daughter brought it over today along with white plastic eggs so that anyone else wanting to have an eggciting good time and an Easter keepsake could do so and you know I did. 

My Mama didn't raise no quitter. Once again, I will attempt to grow a pineapple from this pineapple top. Has anyone reading ever been successful in doing so?  I have tried many a times, but harvested nothing more than moldy mush.  This time, I did more research, Google, he's such an integral aspect of my being. I think I found the error of my ways. Previously, I did not allow the top to "heal" itself for a few days before I suspended it in a jar of water. For now, it's doing a bit of R&R ontop my dryer. If I remember in a few days it's there, I will keep you updated on it's progress.

Yes! Please!

 I've been reading lots, well, technically not "reading" per say, but during my 2.5 hour roundtrip commute to work everyday I've been audio booking LOA. When you see something out there in this vast world in which we live that you want or that is likened unto that which you want to be, Yes! Please! Let that rocket of desire soar. This book....oh! my golly, this book encompasses everything I hope to achieve in writing and illustrating a children's book someday.  This book is stunning magic ! 

Who wants a big, ugly red bottle of laundry detergent hanging out in their laundry room clashing with the color scheme? Not I! Said, I!  I found this jar of whimsy at a garage sale many moons ago.  Holding onto it all these years without any real purpose other than I fancied the flowers. In my new home, it has found purpose. It possesses a sense of alchemy, a vessel containing a cleansing blue liquid derived from an ugly red bottle.

Last but not least, the goal list chart. Once again, upon my move, I came across this handy little piece I made a few years ago.  I'm pretty sure I saw it on Pinterest.  What I love about it is, those colorful square papers are post it notes. Don't go cheap and buy them from the dollar store, you'll be picking them up off the floor with every pass you make. Foam poster board, marking utensils and post it notes is all the materials you need to create one.  I place a small "stack" of post its in each square, write my goals in it, and when accomplished, I pull it off and put it in the round file. Of course, you could make as many squares as you want. Three is my favorite number, three is doable and it always, ALWAYS has to be an odd number.   

 

 

 

Eggactly

Although my nest has been empty for many years now,  I can't bring myself to halt the holiday traditions.  This year, these are my eggs of solitude. I went through the motions but my heart wasn't in it. I kept it simple using food coloring, vinegar and water. Their vibrancy grew during the time they relaxed in their color baths.

 

These yummy goodness were next. It's a bit odd, I only make these deviled eggs but twice a year, Easter and Thanksgiving. I tried to find the logic behind that but I couldn't, especially since I love them. I chalk it up to tradition like turkey once a year.  My "secret" ingredient is ranch dressing. These should be extra tasty with the smoked paprika sprinkled on top.

Job Perks

Again I am tired and it is late.  Evaluation of my time management is needed to carve out a blogging window for each day.

But for now I share with you just one perk of my job.

 The flowers above are called Stock aka, Gilly-flowers. I like the later name better.

Gilly-flower has a fun, free and airy feel about it, whereas Stock seems rigid and stale.  There is nothing stale of these pretties for their hypnotic fragrance surpasses their visual appeal.

When your workspace is furnished in such scented colors, stopping to "smell the roses" is not only possible, it is a must!

  

 

Blog Along With Effy: Five Things

 Currently, I am in a weird place in my life.  So many changes, too many emotions and not enough time in the day. I was not sure if I'd find myself participating in Effy's blog along, but here I am, attempting to blog as I ward off the frustration of these five things;

1.  My new computer, touchy and sensitive as hell.  If it had tear ducts, I can only hope it would short circuit itself.  It's as if it's saying, you're pushing my buttons, therefore, I will find every possible way to push yours... grrrr

2.  Barking dogs.  Dogs bark, dogs bark at barking dogs, I have two, every neighbor seems to have a least one. I need not say more, even if I tried, you couldn't hear me...BARK.

3.  The fact that I wait until my bedtime to commit to partaking in the blog along.

4.  The fact that I am super tired and waited until my bedtime to commit to partaking in the blog along.

5.  The thought that this entry is sub par as I have had to rewrite it many times due to the cursor being incognito as a jumping bean. I'd be less frustrated and  wonderfully amused if it were sporting a tiny, colorful sombrero.